Did it ever cross your mind?
You’re wondering if life is a choice or a destiny.
There was a time you had to make an important decision that can change your life.
Should I leave this relationship that’s becoming hard and toxic? Or should I stay and accept my partner fully for who she is?
Should I take this job overseas with excellent compensation and opportunities for my passion? Or should I stay with my current position that doesn’t provide enough economic needs, but I see my family every day?
Should I keep pursuing this person who can’t love me back? Or should I move on and give myself a chance to meet someone who sees my worth?
What if I make a terrible decision?
Worries and fears flooded your head and then… boom! Your anxieties got ahead of you!
There are only two possibilities;
you make a good choice, and you win,
Or you make a bad choice, and you mourn over it every night. Damn!
Now you make it less painful by thinking that –
But… Does it?
Carl’s Question and His Vague Answer
I remember in the year 2013, my first and past love came to see me a couple of months before he passed away.
We were talking just a few steps away from my parent’s house in an old hut – enough to shelter us from raindrops.
We were laughing, gossiping, brainstorming about ideas, talking about anything until he asked me two questions;
“Why do people get married?”
“Is life a choice or a destiny?”
Yeah, I know right, that’s what he does – make me feel like I’m in a beauty pageant.
So, it’s not like I’m surprised by the kind of questions, we always talk about almost anything when we were still together.
We were so like-minded.
I answered both questions.
I asked him the same questions.
“Aside from love, people marry for companionship.” – was his answer to the first question.
I could make a detail about his answer and the long conversation, but I choose to let it stay personal and let the lessons be shared differently.
“We have a destiny, but we can choose the roads we take. And no matter which roads we take, we always end up in that one fated place.”
This second answer of his is still vague to me until now.
Related link: Does Everything Really Happen for a Reason?
A year ago, if I didn’t choose to stand up and love my life, I would have been submerged into a deep depression.
I was going through anxiety, and I knew that the illness was slowly forming from the previous years.
The anxiety has gotten worse to the point where I’d poke my chest randomly, hoping that the ugly feelings may repress.
I knew I was in trouble, and I was going through it alone.
Even my romantic relationship at the time was affected and didn’t work out.
I haven’t told my friends totally what’s going on.
I never told my family as well (only after I went through it), I can’t afford to add trouble to what they already had – my sister was going through a much worse situation which deeply affected my parents and the whole family – It was a “family downfall.”
But even though I knew I was in trouble, I was still waiting for something.
I was waiting for life to turn around.
Will my future be different?
Will life surprise me?
Life is full of surprises, I agree. But those surprises are only the icings of the cake.
One night, I went to my bed and couldn’t sleep.
It did finally sink in.
I was so afraid of going through depression – who would not be if you had someone close to you or people you know that have ended their own life out of it.
I talked to God and cried like a baby.
“Lord, let me know what to do and I’ll do it. Lead me the way.”
I knew I had to stop waiting for life to change its course.
I had to do something.
After a few days, I started researching.
I started doing things I haven’t done before.
I also went looking for a new job that’s good for my growth.
And you know what’s miraculous about it?
I will not go into detail what really happened, but the bottom line is that I didn’t have a hard time finding ways on what to do and answers came to me easily.
Everything was like falling into place at the right timings.
Not right away though, it took time and one at a time.
No wonder why this bible verse is famous, it has a deeper meaning than the words itself and should be a reminder to our daily lives.
I’m not the religious type of girl, but I’m a believer of God.
He does exist – if you choose to find Him and let Him exist.
So, what did I do that made a difference?
Action defeat fear.
I took action – I changed my daily routines.
It’s the small things we do daily that will make an impact on our lives.
GRADUAL CHANGE OF DAILY ROUTINES
I’ve built good habits over the year;
I was a “lazy gaga” who loves books but doesn’t read them anyway.
But now, I can’t even complete my day without reading.
We Become The Books We Read
My habit of reading books was a gradual process.
It didn’t happen all of a sudden.
I didn’t do it on purpose, but I realized that the habit started forming when I discovered and got interested in LOA and personal development.
There was a part of me that’s immensely intrigued and fascinated by the subjects.
I started reading blogs, articles, and so on.
Then I bought the first book; “The Genie Within: Your Subconscious Mind” by Harry Carpenter.
And then the second book; “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.
And so on…
I was consistent due to my unbreakable interest in the topics.
Until then, it eventually became a habit.
I bought books after another and it’s amazing how I became a person who can’t live a day without reading.
It’s like a newfound soul mate that I’ll keep loving forever.
Aside from reading, I’m also learning about mindful eating.
Health Is Wealth
Unhealthy foods or processed foods harm our emotional health.
To my friends who drink soda every day, please consider this.
Some foods lift our vibration, and some foods lower our vibration.
High vibrational foods improve our emotional health, while low vibrational foods cause negative emotions.
I believe that it’s more likely bad emotional health is what causes bad physical health – it can develop any kind of diseases, mild or severe, such as heart disease, diabetes, pneumonia, obesity, high blood pressure, or just as simple as a headache.
It’s more likely “emotional health → physical health” than the other way around.
So if you’re healthy and happy, you’ll keep the doctors away.
When I realized that, I learned to love whole foods and fruits rather than processed foods.
I learned to love water more than any other drink. Literally!
When you’re healthy, you are happy. When you’re happy, you become rich because happy people are productive. – That’s from Bo Sanchez. Health is, indeed, wealth.
Of course, I still take donuts in my stomach, or alcohol for an occasional bond with my dear friends, or soda when snacking.
I just love them less now, and I procrastinate them! – Click here.
When you learn to love the new opposing concept of something you got used to, you fall out of love with the old one and you’ll start getting used to the new one.
You can’t love both of them at the same time! – You can only want or like them at the same time.
I started learning about mindful eating from Stephen Guise’s Mini Habits for Weight Loss.
The book is not just about weight loss. It’s more likely about how to make a habit of a healthy lifestyle.
While I’m learning about mindful eating, I now love exercise as well not just for its physical fitness and health benefits, but also it generally makes me feel good.
I run early in the morning three to four times a week to see the beautiful view of the sunrise in the clear green water of Abatan River (the place where I currently live).
Exercising or running is one of the many reasons why I’ve built the habit of waking up early.
From A Night Person To A Morning Person
From a night person to a morning person, I now wake up as early as 5 am every morning.
For me, there’s just something miraculous about early mornings.
And it makes my whole day way better than not waking up early.
When I found Hal Elrod’s “The Miracle Morning” on Amazon, it immediately resonated with me.
The book has also helped me build the habit of writing.
Early mornings make me proactive, and my mind works better compared to late at night.
I’ve read some articles somewhere that artists work better late at night.
That’s not true for me – not anymore after I’ve experienced both.
I write, read, draw, and paint way better early in the morning.
Though I recommend early in the morning, discover yourself what works best for you.
You also can apply the right strategies to build a habit of waking up early. Click here.
Meditation is one of the most valuable things I have ever implemented.
Although it was taught in college in my major class as a Psychology student, I never gave it importance.
Meditation helps improve your focus, which also helps reduce the anxiety that’s causing you to over-think.
Mind-wandering and not being at the present moment (aside from unhealthy foods for the gut) is one of the major causes of unhappy feelings, stress, and anxieties – which can develop into depression over time.
Making Meditation as one of your day-to-day activities can improve your emotional health, enhances self-awareness, lengthens attention span, can decrease blood pressure, more connected to others, better sleep, and can even help lose weight!
I know that Meditation is not known to some people, some would even think it’s some kind of weird activity.
But Meditation has countless benefits, and I encourage you to give it a try.
I first started doing basics in the Headspace app.
Download it and try one basic free session. It has an option of 3mins, 5mins, or 10mins.
I’m currently using the Calm app. I subscribed to an annual premium because it has a lot to offer with categories and masterclass.
You can choose categories on what area you’d like to improve – focus, sleep, stress reduction, anger management, breaking habits, etc.
Plus, the scenes and backgrounds are pretty amazing. Just hearing the sounds are very calming – the seashores, the rainfall, the thunder, the fireplace, the wind in the pines, the waterfalls, and many more! Download the free app and find out yourself.
If you don’t like using an app, you can do Yoga – Hal Elrod’s favorite.
Or the original form of Meditation, Transcendental Meditation (TM).
Or you can start with any activity that brings a sense of calm and self-reflection – often can be done early in the morning.
The importance of habits and its impact in our lives should be taught to everyone, especially to the young ones in schools whose subconscious minds are still vulnerable.
What we do every day will create our future.
We attract who we are.
So if it takes forming the necessary habits to create the future we desire, learning how to build a habit is everything.
Tip: Focus on building more good habits until you eventually run out of time doing the bad habits – you will learn to love the good ones so much more.
After a year of my personal development journey, I decided to write.
I decided to share what I’ve learned – from both personal experience and influencers – to everyone.
Being vulnerable and open is scary.
But, as Brene Brown said:
“To be vulnerable – to really put yourself out there, and lean into it – is to live courageously.”
My Respond to Carl’s Question and His Vague Answer
I had a customer at work, white hair and skinny, wearing sunglasses – he was kind of weird.
While I was transacting his request, he said, “You know what, you’ll get hurt again. You often get your heart broken… at your older age.”
Hearing those words from him, I suddenly felt a little spooky. His friend beside him smiled and said, “He’s a fortune teller.”
Okay, you white-headed skinny man, you can read the future, but I doubt you can read my mind.
I just rode with the flow and said, “So, what should I do to change it?”
He confidently answered, “You can’t change it. It’s your destiny.”
I admit hearing those words from him felt like fears are knocking immensely.
He was somewhat right about my past.
But who is he to tell me that I can’t change my future.
I stood my ground with faith in my reply, “I believe that our future depends on our decisions at the present moment. The future can always change.”
I can hear his friend beside him murmured, “She’s right!”
I can’t read his mind because he’s wearing sunglasses and he’s not making any move. Smart guy!
He then continued talking about his readings of his own life, how he knew where to find the love of his life – now he’s married to her.
I have nothing against fortune-tellers.
I believe they have the gift of reading the future, but I also believe that their readings are based on who you are at the moment.
And who you are can always change.
So, if you choose to make a change, their readings can always change.
We can choose to improve, seek lessons, gain knowledge, develop skills, and learn to be grateful for all we have and for all that is yet to come.
And we can choose to ask for guidance from the High Intelligence, from the Universe, from God to lead us to the place we deserve – our one fated place.
Every single thought, choice, and action is determining who we are becoming.
We always have a choice.
So, is life a choice for you? Or a destiny?
Leave your comments below.