Happiness is Not the Long-Term Goal

During my birthday this year, someone randomly sent me a birthday greeting on my Goodreads account.

The random person included a question,

“What do you think is happiness? What are we all searching for?”

The question made me recall a podcast I listened to that was an eye-opener to me.

In the podcast interview, Chip Franks explained to Hal Elrod that happiness is only moments that we experience randomly and not something that stays permanently.

What we truly want to find is “joy.”

I couldn’t agree more with it.

What we humans commonly chase after is happiness – but couldn’t find it.

We all seek happiness at some point in our lives, and some may even be seeking it forever.

The Difference Between Joy and Happiness

This was my answer to the random person asking me a random question…

“Happiness for me are passing moments that either happens to me or I create it myself; such as laughing with my friends, being able to paint a good art, receiving a gift from loved ones and vise versa, a romantic and good conversation with my partner, chilling in the beach and feeling the breeze, and many more that makes my heart smile. Happiness cannot coexist with sadness, anger, fear, and all other low energies. It can come at any moment and we can’t feel it all the time because they are temporary and passing moments. So, what we humans truly are searching for is joy.”
…

Happiness and Joy.

What’s the difference between the two?

Joy is a mindset that we can learn.

Happiness is situational and can’t exist with sadness at the same time.

Being joyful does not mean we will never be sad.

Sadness and downfall could arise at any moment, but when we are joyful, we are optimistic about the situation, more humble, more generous of love, and feel more alive in life – and we feel more inclined to help other people achieve it too.

Joy Is a Mindset

What does it mean to “choose to be happy?”

People say, “Happiness is a choice.” but how do we actually do that?

There are not many people who teach us how to actually make that happen.

Some people are getting depressed, and it’s so easy to tell them “Life is too short to be sad.”

Yes, true! Don’t waste your time growing your wrinkles.

But, how do we heal our fears and sadness, be truly happy, and make it happen without feeling like we’re lying to ourselves in the mirror?

These things are not taught in school.

What school teaches us is how to succeed in career, but rarely in life and well-being… or not at all.

Joy is a choice that you intentionally build as a mindset through time and consistency.

Intentionally creating happiness and gratefulness in our daily lives will build a joyful mindset.

It means it is cultivated by the practice of gratitude.

It means you have to keep focusing on things that make you feel peaceful, thankful, and blessed.

It doesn’t just happen to you, it takes practice.

It has to be repetitive until you become used to only seeing the good in other people and situations – until you become used to feeling joy.

We all deserve to achieve it, even if currently or in the past you feel like you don’t.

Defeating Depression: Practicing the mindset of a joyful heart, mind, and soul

Stillness

A peaceful mind is a by-product of stillness

According to Psychologist, Karin Lawson, being still is like replenishing the stores. It allows us time and space. It gives us time and space to self-reflect and hear our thoughts.

A metaphorical example of achieving stillness during a stressful situation is how professional pilots handle plane turbulence.

During turbulence, the common response of an average person is to go even faster.

But the professional pilot would do the opposite – to slow down – which is the right solution.

When you slow down, you’ll be able to focus on the present moment instead of being lost in your thoughts of what’s possibly gonna happen or what had already happened.

Fear doesn’t exist when you fully live in the present moment.

“Just because the world around us is in full-blown chaos, doesn’t mean we always need to join in.”
Karin Lawson, PsyD

Mindfulness Awareness

The activities you do before bed and the moment you wake up is also very crucial.

Our subconscious mind is the most vulnerable during waking up and before sleeping (discussed further in this post: click here!)

So, the moment you wake up or right before you sleep, whatever you see in social media or whatever thoughts you allow your mind to think will gradually build a pattern in the subconscious until it becomes a habit.

If each time you go to bed, feeling nervous and insecure about the images you’re watching on social media (or whatever makes you feel low), those emotions will become a habit and your mind will always find a way to make you repeat those feelings by evoking you an urge to always look for situations that validate those emotions.

Or the other way around,

If each time you wake up in the morning (or before sleeping), you intentionally thank God and think whatever you’re grateful about in detail (because detail matters), then you get used to feeling optimistic and your mind will make you take action to repeat situations that evoke those same emotions.

If practicing such as gratitude is the key to building the mindset of joy, the other way around is the road to depression.

As this is very much inclined in Psychology, it’s such a huge subject and too broad to discuss in just one blog post, but I wrote this glimpse of what I’ve learned about this subject that I believe people should know and could benefit from it as I did.

Now, the decision to take action or delve deeper is your choice.