I like giving compliments, and different types of responses give me different types of feelings.
When someone responds “Thank you!” it makes me happy that I’m able to let that person be aware of what’s good about him/her.
When someone responds the opposite, like the familiar phrase “No, I’m not. You’re the good one.” or other responses like they seemingly aren’t convinced of my words, it makes me feel like my good thoughts for them are being dodged and unaccepted.
If I take it personally, I would feel like they think my words are not reliable.
I’m no guru or expert about communication skills.
I don’t respond the right way all the time either.
Sometimes when someone compliments me, I don’t take it well and instead respond with “Oh no, I’m not.” or “No, that’s not true… it was just because….” or whatsoever they call “humbleness.”
It’s tricky because it’s sort of ingrained in us that we should be humble and we shouldn’t brag. But is it really being humble? Are you being humble to yourself when you do that?
We often feel uncomfortable about being complimented.
I believe we all do at some point.
But, it’s important to be reminded of the simple but important and appropriate way to respond…
…and why it’s important.
I know this is a very basic, simple, and easy topic.
But it’s so easy to the point that it has been overlooked by so many because of how simple it is. So simple that they don’t notice its benefits of making it a habit and the disadvantages of doing the opposite.
Words do matter
Compliments are affirmations.
What we tell ourselves repeatedly (and what other people tell us repeatedly) will form a belief in our subconscious mind, as much as how we respond to other people.
If you always make the habit of making yourself feel good and telling yourself good things about yourself, they form beliefs… and your beliefs form your reality. Those self-talks are affirmations. Compliments are words of affirmation. The only difference is that those affirmations come from yourself, and compliments come from other people. Compliments form beliefs within you.
If we habitually respond negatively to a compliment, you are telling your mind more and more that they aren’t true and the opposite is true, and at the same time you’re building the habit of dodging compliments – this results to lower self-esteem.
If we make the habit of saying “thank you” or respond positively to a compliment, we are telling our mind that we deserve the compliment and build the paradigm of making ourselves feel good within. You are sending a positive vibe both to your mind and the person complimenting you.
How your response affects the giver
If you do not take people’s compliments so well, it would make them feel that you think they aren’t a good judge.
But if you take it and tell them “Thank you.”, it will make them feel they judge well and they made you feel good because you deserve it, which makes them feel good in return.
The benefit mirrors both.
The importance of gratitude
Imagine having the habit of responding the “dodging” way for 10 years. What would you build in your paradigm and self-esteem in those years?
Would that build more love for yourself and good vibes on other people? Hell no.
Now imagine having the habit of responding “thank you” and accepting those good feelings within you long enough. You’ll make your mind comfortable with the idea that you deserve it because you do.
One reason why some people are not comfortable accepting compliments is because of self-worth issues. But to work on that is to make the comfortable “uncomfortable,” and make the uncomfortable “comfortable.” What this means is that keep doing the right thing even if it’s uncomfortable – until the right thing becomes comfortable to do, and the wrong thing which was comfortable becomes uncomfortable to do.
Saying “thank you,” might feel uncomfortable for you at the moment, but incorporate that in your daily interactions with people until it becomes comfortable to you.
Be consistent… and persistent.
This doesn’t only apply to saying “thank you” but to everything you want to build as a habit.
Giving a sincere compliment will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Research shows that giving a compliment will usually make someone feel more kindly towards you. It might also improve your reputation in the eyes of anyone who happens to be watching.
Practice giving compliments, but they always should be genuine.
Never give anyone a compliment that is not genuine.
Trust me, anyone can smell a compliment that isn’t real.
If giving a genuine compliment will make you feel good as much as the receiver, giving fake compliments would also mirror you.
This is a very short and simple blog article, but I hope and wish it adds value to you as a reader.
Thank you for spending your time here.
Hope you enjoyed!