The 5 Books That Changed My Life

“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body and prayer is to the soul. We become the books we read.”
Matthew Kelly

What I love about reading is that it gives me hope and courage that anything is possible.

Good books help me take away my fears of failure.

They help me stand up again whenever I fail and get disappointed.

They help me understand that weaknesses and imperfections are ladders towards improvement. . .

I’m the youngest of the family.

You know… youngest people are commonly known to be spoiled.

At a younger age, I was the laziest person I know.

And I never read books.

Before I became a bookworm,

the last book I tried reading was Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren – which I didn’t finish.

Don’t get me wrong.

I loved it!

But I was lazy – lazier than a pig. . .

Until then, something came into me.

I won’t go into details about what really happened,

but I’ve built the habit out of interest in my discoveries.

My parents told me that I’m becoming weird…

lol, my friends think that I have always been anyway.

I started waking up so early as 5 AM every morning, go exercise or jog, meditate, read a book, write a journal, etc.

– when all they knew about me is that I melt in my bed as much as I can and wake up sooo late as 10 AM or so.

I never consistently read a book, even a novel.

I still remember in high school borrowing a Harry Potter book in the library,

and I finished it in two days because I skipped pages until I got tired of it,

so I skipped to the end.

It’s not you, J.K. Rowling, it’s me!

All I cared about is Call of Duty, mobile games, manga and anime, boyfriends (or girlfriends, hah! OMG Lea, what a flirt!),

or whatever outlandish kinky stuff that thrills me.

But ever since I started my personal development,

I never stopped reading.

I bought books after books.

I fell in love with it.

I have become a bookworm who couldn’t live without it.

I know in my intuition that the habit is right for me, and it’s leading me to my life purpose – which also led me to start writing. . .

The funny thing about reading books is that I always discover the ones I need most at the time after another,

and at the right timing without much effort in my end.

Those books that I didn’t intentionally search are usually the ones that gave an impact,

and I want to share the blessing with other people.

So, here they are.

THE X BOOKS THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

1. The Power of Now (Eckhart Tolle)

“To love is to recognize yourself in another.”
Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle is the first author that I idolized ever since I started reading. This book helped me improve my sense of focus in all aspects. The book explains that most of us spend our lives with a constant ‘voice in our heads’, the inner critic who judges and interprets reality, and determines our mood. We all have a voice in our head that ‘comments, speculates, judges, compares, complains, and so on. Eckhart says that quite often, the voice isn’t even focusing on what’s happening now; it’s rehashing some old situation or worrying about an imagined one in the future. This voice stops us from ever enjoying the only thing that’s real: the Now. “Only by living in the Now can we find peace and joy.” says Tolle.

What I’m proud of myself being able to understand the message of the book is the mystery that not everyone “get” it. It’s not about intellect at all or how smart you should be to be able to understand what the message genuinely mean. Eckhart said that you would only be able to understand it if you are ready. I have recommended the book to one of my colleagues, but she stopped at the first few pages. Marianne Power also mentioned in her book, Help Me!, that the first time she read it, she couldn’t understand how it had become a number-one bestseller. She couldn’t understand how it is loved by everyone from Oprah to Paris Hilton, who took it to jail with her when she was arrested for drink-driving.

If this book resonates with you, it may be because you are ready for it.

READ NOW

2. Mini Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results (Stephen Guise)

“Never forget this: It’s easier to change your mind and emotions by taking action than it is to change your actions by trying to think and feel differently.”
Stephen Guise

Our habits are the ones that create our future. This book made a real impact. I always had skills and activities in mind that I want to form as a habit, but I never achieved consistency. I start doing it driven by motivation, but whenever the feeling of motivation settles down, I stop and go back to the old routines.

Stephen Guise explains that we must focus on consistency regardless of how small of a goal you have in a day, motivated or not. You must set a goal that is not beyond your willpower to achieve consistency. For instance, if you want to make a habit of exercise, you can set a goal of one push-up a day. You can do more than just one push-up, but your main goal must not be beyond your willpower. Or, if you want to form the habit of writing, you can set a target of 50 words per day. You can write more if you like, but if you’re not motivated to do more at the moment, you can stick to your main goal of writing 50 words – that way, you’ll still feel like a winner because you achieved the target for the day. The important thing is you don’t skip a day; you do it every day until you form the routine, and it’ll become effortless in the long run.

Ever since I found this book, my goals have become possible to me. I built the habit of exercise and running, writing, mindfulness, and other aspects that I want to achieve. It helped me eliminate my unhealthy routines in the past by focusing on building healthy ones.

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3. How To Be an Imperfectionist (Stephen Guise)

“The key to building powerful confidence is to decide specifically what you can be confident about right now, and build from there.”
Stephen Guise

This book resonated with me because perfectionism was one of the causes why I, and so many people, developed depression in the long term. I was a perfectionist, and it does not mean I do everything perfectly; it means that I freeze instead of taking action for fear that I might not do it right.

Perfectionism is the parent of procrastination. Perfectionism keeps us from achieving our goals, big or small. Imperfectionism, however, frees us to live outside the lines, where possibilities are infinite, mistakes are allowed, and self-judgment is minimal.

This book is one of my favorites because the solutions given are very concrete and actionable, which makes it all the better because it motivates us to truly take action to change and not just skim the knowledge without really applying it to real life. The ideas of the book free us from the stressful feelings in the process of improvement and allow you to accept your fears when taking action on what you want to improve and learn.

Ever since I got the points of this book and applied its lessons, I’ve become innovative in my goals even if my fears come visit; I feel the fear, but I still do it anyway. For example, in the aspect of writing, I may have grammar mistakes or wrong choice of wordings in this article, but I’m keeping in mind that people don’t care much about it, and my writing is improving everyday anyway because I learn from those mistakes. I have become an “imperfectionist” and actually getting stuff done.

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4. The Miracle Morning (Hal Elrod)

“Love the life you have while you create the life of your dreams. Don’t think you have to choose one over the other.”
Hal Elrod

Being a night person for a very long time embedded my belief that I work better at night. And then one day, I woke up to the truth that early mornings are a gift. I always believed that success is not based on the time you wake up every morning. This book proved me wrong. There is indeed a miracle in early mornings. I realized that whatever you want to achieve in life – may it be learning how to sing or learning how to draw and paint, may it be a small goal or a big goal – is best done habitually early in the morning.

Do you believe that the first hour in the morning is the rudder of the day? Hal explains that how you wake up each day and your morning routine dramatically affects your levels of success in every single area of your life. Focused, productive, successful mornings generate focused, productive, successful days – in the same way that unfocused, unproductive, and mediocre mornings generate unfocused, unproductive, and mediocre days. The simplest things create a significant impact, and the idea of this book seems quite basic until you try it yourself. By simply changing the way you wake up in the morning, you can transform any area of your life.

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5. Attached (Amir Levine)

“It’s important to remember that even with effective communication, some problems won’t be solved immediately. What’s vital is your partner’s response–whether he or she is concerned about your well-being, has your best interests in mind, and is willing to work on things.”
Amir Levine

Levine explains that there are three kinds of attachment styles; the secure, the anxious, and the avoidant. As a curious, psychology lover girl, I have always wanted to learn human behavior in dating and relationships. Ever since I had terrible experiences in the past, most of the information I have gathered was basically about how we should prioritize ourselves and keep our independence even within a relationship with another person.I believe that those information led me to a mindset of an avoidant person; the avoidant attachment style.

This book opened my eyes that dependency is a fact, and our need for someone to share our lives with is part of human nature and has nothing to do with how much we love ourselves or how fulfilled we feel on our own. Amir explains that once we choose a partner, dependency always exist because it’s human nature. This does not also mean that we give up other aspects of our life, it means we should learn the ability to step into the world on our own knowing that there is someone beside us whom we can count on. It means we can turn our attention to all the other aspects of life that make our existence meaningful, knowing that there is someone who makes us feel safe and know how to reassure us during the hard times.

Thank you, Amir Levine, for introducing me to my weakness. Having a crystal clear of awareness is the start of healing.

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